Hi gang. Well, it's been almost a year since my last post, so you might have guessed that I've got a bit lazy with my postings. My numerous trips around Europe and the UK have gone completely undocumented, and frankly I can't see myself putting them on here any time soon. I thought I'd come back for a totally unrelated purpose, however, as I've got a strange interest in the smaller parts of European football... and I'll also be back for Euro 2012, with my stats and predictions for the coming tournament, as I did on another blog for the World Cup.

But first to the club competitions. I post stuff here for my own benefit (like the stuff about the Digital Economy Act) but anyone else is welcome to read. The group stage of the two UEFA competitions are done and dusted for this season, but already I'm looking ahead to next season, and what the minnows are doing. A few leagues operate in the summer, you see, so we already have some qualifiers for next season's competitions. A quick note: with the exception of countries ranked 15th and above, every Champions League entrant is the champion of their league; everyone else goes to the Europa League. I may mention that certain champions will contend for the Europa League, but that's just because I don't fancy their chances in the Champions League (as, of course, losers from Q3, Q4 and the group stage of the CL go to the EL). Just making it clear for those who aren't paying attention.

Let's start in Belarus (ranked 23rd), where BATE, as usual, triumphed with a five-point cushion for their sixth consecutive championship. Clearly there are no other comparable teams in Europe's last dictatorship, though Shakhtyor Soligorsk and Gomel will be off to the Europa League anyhow, along with whoever wins the cup (for some reason, it doesn't run in tandem with the league, so we won't find out the winner until May-ish).

BATE will be joined in CL Q2 by none other than Molde, who pulled off a bit of a shock to clinch their first ever league championship in Norway (26th). Rosenborg, who won 14 league titles in 15 years up to 2004, will have to be content with the Europa League, after winning back-to-back championships. They'll be joined by Tromsø (who finished above them) and Aalesund (who won the cup). Expect all of them to collapse in Europe as usual (no Norwegian teams made it to the group stage of either competition this season).

You may sense a pattern as most of the Scandinavian countries play summer football. Sweden (28th) saw Helsingborgs as champions, after over a decade of mediocrity. They also did the league-cup double, meaning 8th-placed Kalmar took the EL Q1 place as runners-up. They have previous in that competition, as they made it through Q1 and Q2 before being beaten by Levski Sofia in 2010-11. Meanwhile for Helsingborgs, it's their first time in the CL since their stint in the group stage in 2000-01 against Bayern Munch, Paris Saint-Germain and, er, Rosenborg. Malmö followed up their terrible performance in this season's EL group stage with 4th place, missing out on Europe altogether. IF Elfsborg and AIK will go into the EL instead.

Staying in Scandinavia, Finland (30th) saw HJK win their third title in a row. They've been regulars in Europe for a long time, but the last time they made any significant impact was way back in 1998-99, when they joined PSV Eindhoven, Kaiserslautern and Benfica in the CL group stage. In the last two seasons they've fallen at the final hurdle of getting to the EL group stage, so getting there would be some kind of achievement. Although they have little hope in the CL, they'll start there in Q2, while FC Inter, JJK and cup runners-up KuPS will slug it out in the EL, hoping to improve on this season where nobody got to either group stage.

The same can't be said for Ireland (31st), who saw champions Shamrock Rovers make the EL group stage, a significant achievement for Irish football, and I don't think anyone minds too much that they lost all six games. Shamrock are champions once more, so they'll get another crack at EL glory (assuming they don't make the CL group stage, of course). Ireland will also be represented by cup winners Sligo Rovers, along with Derry City and St Patrick's Athletic. Sligo and St Pat's both came a cropper against Ukrainian sides this season, so they'll do well to get anything out of next season's competitions.

Also finishing their league in 2011 is Lithuania (34th) and Latvia (35th). The former currently has, like other countries in Eastern Europe, one all-conquering team in Ekranas, who have now won four titles in a row, along with two cups (and two super cups). Despite recent local domination, they've never even come close to the group stages. Zalgiris and Suduva will go into the EL, plus whoever loses to Ekranas in the cup come May.

Latvia used to have an all-conquering team in Skonto, who amazingly were founded in 1991, in time for the first independent Latvian football league, and proceeded to win the first 13 championships (including seven cups and three undefeated league campaigns). Since their fall from grace in 2004, they've only managed one, and Ventspils have taken up the mantel, winning four titles since 2006, including this year. Skonto, meanwhile, haven't even qualified for the EL. They still have hope in the form of the cup, which, like other countries around there, doesn't take place in a calendar year for some reason, but as they're without a cup win since 2002, I wouldn't count on it. Liepajas Metalurgs (the first team to knock Skonto off their perch by winning a league title in 2005) and Daugava Daugavpils are the league entrants to the EL.

Iceland (40th), as with every Scandinavian country bar Denmark, have also finished, and KR won their 25th championship, though it's only their fifth since 1999, and they didn't win a single one for 31 years prior to that, so not as mighty as it first appears. FH and ÍBV take the EL spots (why do all these teams use initials? Because there's no way you can pronounce their full names), but the most notable thing from this season in Iceland is that Þór Akureyri (that's 'Thor', by the way) have qualified as cup runners-up.

Why notable? Well, Þór had got promotion to the top flight only the previous season (on goal difference, too), and so it was amazing that they managed to make it to the cup final anyhow. But the really amazing part is that, like Birmingham in the Premier League, they also got relegated. So they'll be fighting in the EL while also scrapping it out in the second tier of Icelandic football. Though I doubt they'll be playing in the group stage like Birmingham, but one can hope.

I know this post has gone on for a bit, but don't worry, there's not long to go. Kazakhstan (41st) have an interesting manager by the name of John Gregory. Yes, the former Villa, Derby and QPR manager. I noticed that he joined Israeli club Maccabi Ahi Nazareth halfway through the season, getting a rather limp 20 points from 17 games and failing to avoid relegation, moved on to Ashdod (also Israeli) where he almost guided them to relegation too, and so here we are in Kazakhstan with Kairat Almaty. Guess what? Relegated. Keep on trying, John.

Anyway, enough waffling, Shakhtyor Karagandy have won their first ever league title, and will hope to do better than losing to St Pat's in the EL like they did this season. Aktobe are the powerhouse, having won four titles in five seasons recently, but they could only manage third, so the EL will have to do. Zhetysu and cup winners Ordabasy will join them.

The most interesting thing about this season in Estonia (45th) is that champions Flora scored 100 goals in the 36 game league, but Trans, who scored 107, could only manage third. These wacky goal tallies could be a result of bottom club Lasnamäe Ajax, who, while getting four draws and no wins, somehow managed to let in an astonishing 192 goals - an average of 5.3 a game. Predictably, their worst results came at the hands of Flora (13-1) and Trans (14-0). Thank heavens for relegation. I should point out that they've been relegated before, in 2007, when they managed five points and conceded 153 goals. After that effort, I bet they never thought their next trip to Estonia's top flight would be quite as bad. Oh, how wrong they were. At the top, meanwhile, while we're yet to find out who'll win the cup and grab an EL spot, Kalju join Trans in the EL, with Flora hoping they'll draw a CL opponent as weak as Ajax (not the ones from Amsterdam, hopefully).

Armenia (47th) also don't finish their cup until May, but we'll be seeing Ulisses in the CL draw as they won their first title. Pyunik won ten consecutive titles up to 2010, but could only finish third this season, so the EL is unfamiliar territory for them: they usually go into the CL every year (and lose). Gandzasar beat them into 2nd place on goal difference, so they'll be joining them. Finally, the Faroe Islands (50th) will have B36 challenging the other three lowest-ranked champions of Europe in the CL, while Víkingur, NSÍ Runavík and cup-winners EB/Streymur go for glory in the EL.

Phew. And to think, the league in most of Europe is only half way through. Well, there'll be plenty more where this came from, so stay tuned!

Day two of our weekend in Odessa. We decided that, since we spent the previous day in the town centre and on the northern coastal area, we should explore the beaches in the eastern part of town. So, around midday, we caught the tram to the south-eastern starting point of all this.

I caught sight of a big obelisk, rather like the one in Kyiv's Ploscha Peremohy.







Anyway, we arrived shortly in the fun park that accompanies the beaches of Odessa.







It was only April, and although the weather was reasonable, there were still few tourists around, so there wasn't much life in this place.






But you can just see all the fun you could have! I guess a '4D Cinema' is one of those simulator rides, though I could be wrong. We never tried them (the place was probably closed).






Boo.








Being a big kid, I enjoyed walking around this place, and just wished that we were in the height of summer, when there would be a bit more action around. The red sign above the cowboy's head says 'film attraction'. You can see some of the 'attractions' on posters next to it.




Naturally, these beaches are very popular in summer, and this enormous hotel next to the beach is designed just for that.







There were several very closed-looking places around here.








Like this nightclub, 'Ibiza'.








I'm sure at peak times it'd be a real happening place.








But at the moment, it didn't really feel like Ibiza.








The beach, as you can see, was almost deserted.








Certainly, it wasn't bikini weather, but it was pleasant enough.








The beaches were covered in rocks (and after this woman got some bread out, pigeons).







Looking back from the pier, with that Tower of Babel-esque hotel looming over things, it actually looks rather nice.







Just a shame that we went when nobody else did. We got some good peace and quiet though, I suppose.







As before, there were loads of themed places.








It was all like a big fairground or something.








And this is just scary. On the left you can see 'tir', or 'shooting gallery'. These things are popular anywhere there are tourists - in Hidropark in Kyiv, most places in Crimea, and here of course.









Beaches, restaurants, bars... fun stuff.








You can see the themes being played around with.








Just walking around in the April daytime, it felt like something was really missing.







Not quite the same as winter - when it would obviously be dead - but it just seemed like the weather was here, but the people weren't, so places like this looked like empty shells.






It all looked a little sad, really. I'm sure it's buzzing in summer, though.







We'll have to come back, I suppose.








Our walk continued for some time (in total we walked 8.5km from the tram stop to the pizzaria where we had dinner) but there was plenty to see.






I saw this on a Panoramio photo on Google Earth, so I was delighted when I found it. Shame someone had to deface it.







There are quite a few beaches on the coast of Odessa.








And hills beside them.








It's all rather interesting.








There's even somewhere to practise your climbing.











It's at this point when you realise how big the Odessa coastline really is.







Some guys were riding their BMXs around here, which seemed like the perfect place to do it.







These Soviet-era lifts could take you from the town to the beach.








But I wouldn't risk them, really: they don't look all that safe.








On our travels we found a monument. Not sure what it's for, as usual.











There were some dilapidated buildings over the edge from it, too.








We continued through the big park, where you could also find the stadium, and these huge blocks of flats.







I believe this is to honour the Soviet war in Afghanistan (apologies for the awful focus, I should've taken another).







Given the years there, I can only guess Afghanistan.








Upon leaving the park, we were greeted by the familiar face of Taras Shevchenko. This, of course, is the entrance to the park from the city.










We were pretty tired by this point, but we soldiered on.








I think we'd seen all we wanted, though.








At a crossroads between Polish Street and Greek Street, I believe. Shortly after, we stepped in an Italian restaurant and had a good dinner.






We didn't have to catch our train until near midnight, so we had a few drinks in different places (like the Irish pub in town). We couldn't get in here, as much as we wanted to. It's called 'London', in case you couldn't read it.





Though I think this is pretty much self-explanatory.











After having a couple more drinks in another place, we ran off to the train station to grab our ride home. The train was far more modern than our previous ones, but was impossibly hot, with no ventilation. When we finally got out the following morning at Kyiv station, it was an enourmous relief. Think I prefer the old trains myself.

So there you have it. Join me next time for our next big trip: around the UK. It's a big one, so it'll have to be split up into eight (!) parts.